toxic relationship awareness, healing and education
Coaching With Dr. Heidi
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic
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When you are being criticized, you need to absolutely understand that it is an inflammatory reaction because they are wanting a reaction from you.
The minute you give a toxic person a reaction, you have just given them what they wanted. If they are trying to make you mad and you get mad, that’s exactly what they wanted. If they say something to mean to make you cry and you cry, that’s exactly what they wanted.
How many more days do you want to spend walking with your head down? Crying? Feeling like everything is your fault? NONE!
Those days are over! You are going to start educating yourself, dig deep, do the work, start choosing yourself, and we are going to figure out who you were meant to be!
You were put on this earth for a reason, and to be happy is one of them!
I know that if you’re just out of a toxic relationship or you’re in the middle of one, the word “forgiveness” sounds a little far-fetched.
You will find that when you start putting yourself first, it doesn’t matter if the toxic people are changing or not.
You are changing and you are growing and you are learning to take care of yourself.
Everybody thinks they’re Mr. Nice Guy or they’re the funny guy or they’re the one that plans everything and gets the group together. They can pour it on to make others believe that they are a very nice, caring, loving person.
The outward presentation and the public presentation of the toxic person is completely different than the one that those they are closest to see at home.
The toxic person as a whole has certain needs. And when those needs are not being met, that’s when the toxicity comes out.
When they are feeling upset, when they are feeling stressed, when they are feeling out of control, when they are feeling threatened in any type of way…that’s when the character traits start coming out.
This is Dr. Heidi with Coaching with Dr. Heidi. I am a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist, and this is the first in my series of blogs. This is the place to be if you are ready to de-toxic your life. What does that mean? Well, let me ask you a few questions:
Do you feel like you are under constant criticism?
Do you feel like you are isolated or kept apart from the people that love you or the people that support you the most?
Do you have a constant feeling of tension in your stomach or fear in your daily life?
Do you take the blame when it’s not yours to take?
Do you deny the fact that you may be in an abusive relationship, and does the person in the relationship with you deny that they do anything wrong?
Do you live in constant lies or do you feel like things aren’t adding up?
Do you feel like your life is controlled by others?
These, as well as several others character traits, mark a toxic person. Now, independently, these traits are not harmful. And, independently, all of us have toxic traits. But when they are combined with multiple of the other traits and then presented in a cyclic or repetitive-type environment, that is when we want to look at the relationship as a whole as perhaps an unhealthy place for you.
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