Toxic Relationships


May 8, 2018

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I'm Dr. Heidi — toxic relationship and emotional abuse (graduate) specialist. I'm here to help you find freedom from your situation. 

Meet. Dr. Heidi

Good afternoon!

This is Dr. Heidi, your Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist.

My focus is on awareness, education, and your journey to self-discovery. My mission is to make aware as many as I can about emotional abuse and toxic relationships, so those within them can make better sense of their situation.

Thank you for being patient in waiting for this post. I wanted to be very certain that I am leading the very best that I can, and at times, that takes some self-reflection.

As a mentor for those whose lives have been affected by emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, or emotional trauma, I want you to know that the number one reason I do the work that I do is because I have been there. I know what it’s like to have self-doubt, to feel isolated, to be perceived as crazy. Hopeless. Helpless. Feeling stuck. My passion is absolutely guided by my past.

Myself having one more than relationship in my past that tore down my confidence, stole my self-worth, and changed my positive, happy self into someone that never quite made the mark for approval, it is my honor to be here doing what I am doing because I am 100% able to relate to people who are going through that type of situation.

My past never made sense to me until about three years ago. I could not understand what I had done that was so bad to feel the way I was feeling. For years I read books, I journaled, I wore my poor mother’s ear off through the phone, bless her heart, but felt like I was doomed to a life of struggle. No matter what I tried, I ended up in the exact same spot. I used to compare my life to being on a treadmill…you work and work and work and work and guess what? You haven’t even moved.

The work that I’m doing has given so much meaning to my past that I am ever so grateful for each day that I have lived to learn something that I am now able to pass onto you.

Our story is something that we tell when someday else needs hope.

Our story is what makes us who we are.

Our story is the foundation for our future.

Now, I do realize there are a vast number of people out there that think I am absolutely nuts for doing the work that I’m doing and for craving the work that I’m doing. My attention is on the toxic relationship part of my work 100% of the time. Why do they think I’m crazy? Because NO ONE talks about toxic relationships and no one talks about emotional abuse. Those within it are told to keep it quiet, and so was I.

Reasons why we keep quiet about this particular topic?

  1. If we say anything, it always seems to get worse. If you say anything or talk about it, you are going to be the one that is blamed for the situation anyway, so it’s easier to keep quiet.
  2. No one will believe us because a toxic person is almost always a different person in public than they are in private. So when you talk about it, people will look at you like, “Really? They seem so nice!” So talking about it make us look like the crazy ones.
  3. We don’t want people to think we made a bad choice: taking that job, keeping them as a friend, staying in the relationship…we don’t want it to look like we made a bad decision.
  4. It’s embarrassing if others think there are problems in your marriage or in your professional life.

Well, I’ll tell you right now…I’m officially done not talking about it! I want others to know that they are not alone. I want to offer assistance or a positive vibe or a positive quote to someone who might be having a bad day. I want to inspire those who have been affected by emotional trauma. I want you to know that there is hope and there is healing.

The other thing I want to make sure that is done through my teaching is realizing that it is not about the toxic person. It is not about the narcissist! It is not about the emotionally abusive person! It is not about what these people have done to you. It is entirely about whether these people are healthy for you or not.

Not every person is toxic, and not every toxic person is toxic to everyone. And just because someone is not healthy for you doesn’t mean that they are “bad.”

This is about you! This is about your life! If someone doesn’t fit into you, DON’T FORCE IT. You are allowed to choose who is in your life. If they are not good for you, get away! Set yourself free! Move on! This is your life!

I am not about getting revenge. I am not about making them pay. I am not about proving that I’m right or that I was right all along. I am about recognizing the danger, removing yourself, choosing your safety and not repeating the process. We have already wasted enough time, so let’s get going!

Education and self-discovery is how you heal yourself. So, let’s get detoxicated together! Ridding your life of toxic people is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. I am going to begin a series on characteristics the toxic person has. You will be able to take these characteristics, evaluate your life, inventory your friends, and make better decisions for yourself. Who deserves you? Who doesn’t?

I am feeling so rejuvenated and so refocused; this is a great way to move forward. We have been sliding backwards long enough. So, join me weekly for education and self-discovery. Let’s get detoxicated!

My podcasts are now going to air on Tuesdays, and as I said, the next several are going to be a series of character traits on the  toxic person, regardless of their diagnosis. Because, remember, it is not about them! It is 100% about you and your healing. There is plenty of information all over the internet that you can find if you want to study them. This is about studying you and what makes you tick and what you need to move forward in a happy, healthy life. Stop thinking about the days past and start looking forward to the days in the future.

How many more days do you want to spend walking with your head down? Crying? Feeling like everything is your fault? NONE! Those days are over! You are going to start educating yourself, dig deep, do the work, start choosing yourself, and we are going to figure out who you were meant to be! You were put on this earth for a reason, and to be happy is one of them!

You can reach me through my Coaching with Dr. Heidi Facebook or Instagram page, or through my website.

I will see you here next Tuesday for the first in the series of the character traits of the toxic person.