I have felt these...all of these & just like you, I did not know what to do.

It is like running on a treadmill. You put in a lot of effort,
but in the end you're in the EXACT same place you started. 

 Toxic relationships ebb and flow, there are hot times & cool times.
During the hotter times you feel fear, danger, & chaos,
but when it cools off you feel LESS fear, LESS danger & LESS chaos.

The cool times eventually become the "good" times because
they feel so much better than the hot times.

We completely forget "good" times should actually have
NO fear, NO danger, & NO chaos!
 
 Our perception of what "good" is supposed to feel like is clouded
when the "not as bad" becomes the "good".

You put in a lot of effort during both the hot & cool times
 but in the end, you find yourself in the EXACT same place you started.

You find yourself continually being criticized?

Your physical traits, your hair, your career choice, your friends, your strengths, and most definitely your weaknesses?  When all you really want is for them to accept you as you are.

You find yourself seeking their approval?

You quickly agree with their plans or opinions?

Continually doing & saying things to prove yourself good enough, smart enough, happy enough? 
Only to find their approval never comes.

You find yourself doing & agreeing to things you may not want to, or you agree with them to avoid making them angry, getting in trouble, or causing conflict.

You have an uneasy or anxious feeling when they are around.

When they come home from work, call, or send a text? You make excuses for them when they mistreat you. You worry you have disappointed them?

You do things that are important to them first.

You get up in the morning thinking about their needs before yours. You run yourself ragged for them, cover for them, over-extend for them, leaving no time, energy, or attention for yourself. You feel efforts that should be appreciated are instead expected.

You accept or are forced to take the blame.

You are responsible for things they do, things they can’t find, things that do not go right. You will take the blame than the drama of proving to them it's not your fault.

Did reading those make you feel like I've been watching your life?-- well let me tell you...

I've lived that life!

I spent many years living on that very treadmill.  Perhaps you've seen me...

I did not understand it when I was in it, but you can bet that I understand it now...
and once I did I remember thinking "you have got to be kidding me, this is so easy."

I can help you think the same thing.