toxic relationship awareness, healing and education
Coaching With Dr. Heidi
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic
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Hey everybody, welcome back! A while back someone had written me about the fears of leaving a toxic relationship. In fact, I’ve had several people contact me. But I want to address one particular fear today, and that is the fear of being lonely. The definition of loneliness is feeling sad and unhappy about being […]
Defending yourself against a smear campaign is a complete waste of time. It will suck the emotional energy straight out of you. Smear campaigns are set up by the toxic people to get a reaction. Don’t give it to them. Those who love you know the truth, right? You’re not going to need to convince the people who already love you. Those who don’t? They don’t matter. You don’t need to convince them either. Giving energy to a smear campaign is giving your time and energy back to them. They have used up enough of your time and energy.
If you are in a situation that you are feeling like you are going to have to run away to get out, it is overwhelmingly scary. Just know that the fear usually comes from you moving from an environment that you are familiar in to unknown territory.
Even though your environment wasn’t healthy, at least you knew what to expect. In stepping out, you have no idea what’s going to happen out there.
The unknown is always scary, and the familiar is always easier to stay in. So be prepared to be scared! Because it is scary!
Toxic personalities tend to feel like everything is about them. We’ve talked about it before; your toxic personality—right, wrong, or indifferent—tends to be insecure. Their controlling and attention traits are geared toward trying to make themselves feel more secure.
From your career to your friends, your hair color, which shoes you’re wearing…they make everything involve them, and we end up having very little say regarding our daily life decisions. A lot of times we have very little to say about our overall well-being. The more they control, the less we control. Because, Heaven forbid, we stand up to ourselves.
Good afternoon! I have a topic today that I have truthfully been putting off. There’s been so many people messaging me about this particular topic, and right now I have quite a few clients that have asked questions about this topic. Even though I have kind of been avoiding it because it’s a touchy subject, […]
A very freeing quote in my life came from my dad. Since it’s Fathers Day, I think it’s an appropriate day for me to quote him. The reason this is such a personal quote for me is because it helped me release a lot of things that I was holding onto.
He said, “One of the ways to find inner peace is accepting people the way they are, not the way you want them to be.”
Wow! Really? That is a powerful statement. When dealing with toxic people, we often spend half of our time wishing they were different, hoping they would change, and wishing and waiting for things to get better. News flash! You are wasting your wishes.
The programming and the manipulation that is present in a toxic environment is sadly very intentional. Toxic people want us to question ourselves on everything.
When we question ourselves, they feel better, they feel stronger, they feel more put together, and lastly, and most importantly, they feel more in control.
The more out of control they can make you feel, the more in control they feel.
Not all toxic people have all of the traits, but because you know you are a sensitive person, you owe yourself the knowledge of as many traits as possible.
Why? These are not the only toxic people in the world. Your path will cross many other paths of other toxic people.
Because you know yourself to be sensitive, you need to protect yourself. You will become a target of another toxic person.
If you are dealing with the same type of repetitive toxicity within your home or within your work environment or within your friendships, you will accommodate to it.
This is the most dangerous part about being in a toxic relationship. We become accustomed to the treatment and accustomed to the feeling of being in danger. It becomes normal to us.
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