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This is Dr. Heidi of Coaching with Dr. Heidi. I am a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist, and this is my first blog! This is the place to be if you are ready to “de-toxic” your life. What does that mean? Well, let me ask you a few questions:
Do you feel like you are under constant criticism?
Do you feel like you are isolated or kept apart from the people that love you or the people that support you the most?
Do you have a constant feeling of tension in your stomach or fear in your daily life?
Do you take the blame when it’s not yours to take?
Do you deny the fact that you may be in an abusive relationship, and does the person in the relationship with you deny that they do anything wrong?
Do you live in constant lies or do you feel like things aren’t adding up?
Do you feel like your life is controlled by others?
These, as well as several others character traits, mark a toxic person. Now, independently, these traits are not harmful. And, independently, all of us have toxic traits. But when they are combined with multiple of the other traits and then presented in a cyclic or repetitive-type environment, that is when we want to look at the relationship as a whole as perhaps an unhealthy place for you.
Now, I know that if you are in a toxic relationship and you have been for a a while, change is very fearful. But I also know that overcoming fear is freedom. As a fourteen-year emotional abuse graduate, I do know what it’s like to be in an unhealthy place. The fear and the loneliness and the sadness are very overwhelming. I ended up feeling like I was totally trapped, when, in reality, I was just totally fearful.
I want to be an inspiration of hope to those who are still experiencing the same feelings because of the situation I was in, when I felt like I was the only one in it. I want you to know that there is hope, there is support, and there is help.
Now, I do not want to be the one preaching at you all the time. You have books for that. You have family for that. You have best friends for that. How I would like to run this blog and my podcast is…when I do workshops or conferences or seminars, there is usually line of people that are wanting to ask specific questions about their situations. So, this is the place that I am going to encourage my followers to do that. I am going to base this blog and podcast off of what the listeners are wanting and as far as what questions the listeners may have.
What I will be doing during the podcast is answering the questions that have been submitted to me throughout my social media pages. You can submit questions to me through my Instagram account which is @coachingwithdrheidi, and my Facebook account is also /coachingwithdrheidi. You can read about the programs I offer on this website, but you can also message in to place your questions here on the contact form.
For this particular post (because it’s my intro), if there is one question I’m asked more than any other, it is how come I keep picking the same type of people in my life? Now, we will go into a lot of specifics as far as relationships go: friend relationships, work relationships, parent/sibling relationships, spousal relationships, boyfriend/girlfriends relationships, but as a whole I want you to know that you do not pick toxic people in your life. Toxic people have a certain need and they will pick certain personalities to be in their lives. So, if you are a loving, giving, caring, worthwhile person that just wants to help and just wants everybody happy, you are a target for a toxic person.
If you have felt like you keep repeating the cycle, it is because you are good, caring, loving person. Don’t change who you are because of who they are. Just realize that as I go through the different questions in the podcast and on my blog, maybe you’ll be able to pick up a few different hints on how I can remain who I am (loving, caring, giving) and at the same time be able to recognize when someone is approaching me who may be unhealthy for me.
The people that are in your life are your choice. You get to decide who is in your life. You get to decide who’s not in your life. And you get to decide at what level they are in your life.
When you know the different characteristics of the toxic person, you will be able to pick them out rather than assume that whatever is going wrong in the relationship is your fault or you need to fix it.
Let’s get going on this and start sending me your questions. I’m super excited! Free free to reach out to me. I am basing my communications entirely off of questions that my followers have. So, thanks for reading. I promise I’ll get better as it goes on. I”m looking forward to getting to know some of you and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to give you some answers that you’ve been looking for. Thanks for coming!