toxic relationship awareness, healing and education
Coaching With Dr. Heidi
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic
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If you are dealing with the same type of repetitive toxicity within your home or within your work environment or within your friendships, you will accommodate to it.
This is the most dangerous part about being in a toxic relationship. We become accustomed to the treatment and accustomed to the feeling of being in danger. It becomes normal to us.
When you are being criticized, you need to absolutely understand that it is an inflammatory reaction because they are wanting a reaction from you.
The minute you give a toxic person a reaction, you have just given them what they wanted. If they are trying to make you mad and you get mad, that’s exactly what they wanted. If they say something to mean to make you cry and you cry, that’s exactly what they wanted.
How many more days do you want to spend walking with your head down? Crying? Feeling like everything is your fault? NONE!
Those days are over! You are going to start educating yourself, dig deep, do the work, start choosing yourself, and we are going to figure out who you were meant to be!
You were put on this earth for a reason, and to be happy is one of them!
I know that if you’re just out of a toxic relationship or you’re in the middle of one, the word “forgiveness” sounds a little far-fetched.
You will find that when you start putting yourself first, it doesn’t matter if the toxic people are changing or not.
You are changing and you are growing and you are learning to take care of yourself.
Moving forward in your life, what I want you to do is listen. When you venture into new relationships and new friendships and new work-type situations, you need to listen, and when they lie…do not participate! That means you do not need to let people in your life that lie to you because you get to choose who’s in your life and who’s not in your life. It’s not about trusting that all other people aren’t going to lie to you. It’s about learning to trust yourself. And then reassuring yourself that you’re going to choose yourself.
The toxic person as a whole has certain needs. And when those needs are not being met, that’s when the toxicity comes out.
When they are feeling upset, when they are feeling stressed, when they are feeling out of control, when they are feeling threatened in any type of way…that’s when the character traits start coming out.
This is Dr. Heidi with Coaching with Dr. Heidi. I am a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist, and this is the first in my series of blogs. This is the place to be if you are ready to de-toxic your life. What does that mean? Well, let me ask you a few questions:
Do you feel like you are under constant criticism?
Do you feel like you are isolated or kept apart from the people that love you or the people that support you the most?
Do you have a constant feeling of tension in your stomach or fear in your daily life?
Do you take the blame when it’s not yours to take?
Do you deny the fact that you may be in an abusive relationship, and does the person in the relationship with you deny that they do anything wrong?
Do you live in constant lies or do you feel like things aren’t adding up?
Do you feel like your life is controlled by others?
These, as well as several others character traits, mark a toxic person. Now, independently, these traits are not harmful. And, independently, all of us have toxic traits. But when they are combined with multiple of the other traits and then presented in a cyclic or repetitive-type environment, that is when we want to look at the relationship as a whole as perhaps an unhealthy place for you.
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