How To Identify A Toxic Relationship
&
What To Do If You’re In One
What exactly is a toxic relationship and how do you know if you’ve been affected by one?
Hi. Dr. Heidi here! Maintaining a good relationship is always going to be challenging. Be it family, friends, or your significant other. Relationships will be full of ups and downs, and sometimes you just have to let go.
A toxic relationship is a relationship that can damage someone emotionally and, or physically because of the behavior of their toxic partner.
According to this article, by Dr. Seth Gillihan, PHD, published on Webmd, toxic relationships don’t usually seem to start as one. Most of the time they start with what appears to be a healthy relationship then gradually turns into the deep dark abyss of toxicity.
Before it ends up into something you can’t fix, here are 14 signs of a toxic relationship:
A relationship with no effort is no relationship at all. When there is no more effort given to you, it becomes a one-sided relationship.
2.Communication was the key
Asking what the problem is but only receiving a silent treatment. The lack of communication can start that long road to a toxic relationship.
3. “No” is also an answer
Being in a great and healthy relationship doesn’t mean you gotta say “Yes” to everything and when you can’t say no to anything without getting the other party brimming with anger, then there is something wrong.
4. That’s not how it happened
Gas-lighting is one of the things that comes with lack of communication. Being told that you’re just being crazy when you’re not, is really frustrating. Check out this video by Dr. Tracey Marks for more insight.
5. Going Private Eye
When everything you’ve done needs to be looked over by your partner, some trust issues are going on. From your text message to the receipts you have, nothing escapes from someone who wants to be in control.
6. Everyone’s a critic
A toxic partner will make you feel uncomfortable by demeaning you. Your clothes, the things you do or any simple thing can breed and sustain your discomfort.
7. No Allies
Talking behind your back, eventually, friends and family will all think you’re the crazy one. In the end, you’ll lose everyone.
8. Pants on Fire
We all tell lies, but when it’s something so obvious, it’s a clear sign of toxic behavior. Having you think that they can simply lie to you means that they can assert their dominance more.
9. A Hostile Environment
You always have to look out for anything that you do so that any sort of argument can be avoided. At this point, any sort of communication will be lacking.
10. The Victim Card
Being bombarded with “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why me?” when you’re clearly the victim here. Switching the victim card so that you’re the offender is a clear clue of a toxic person.
11. Keeping Tabs
When all your past mistakes are brought up over and over again. It may feel like your partner is keeping a scorecard for any errors you have done before.
12. Getting Physical
An undeniable sign is being physically abusive. Getting hurt on an emotional and physically can push anyone down to their breaking point.
13. A “little” Jealous
It’s not wrong to be jealous when you’re partner pays attention to someone else, but if every scent and every strand of hair that sticks to you is the cause, there is really something wrong.
14. It isn’t comfortable anymore
A clear sign of toxicity is if you can’t find comfort in any part of your relationship. A healthy relationship can sometimes give you discomfort, but a toxic one makes you feel it all the time.
14 Signs of A Toxic Relationship
Still unclear if your relationship fits the definition of a toxic relationship?
Take my version of a toxic relationship quiz here to learn more if your relationship has toxic tendencies.
Take The Is It Toxic Relationship Quiz Here
1. Don’t be in denial.
Accept that you are in a toxic relationship so that you can start recovering yourself and be able to go on ahead through life.
2. Stop blaming yourself.
You are the victim here and don’t let others tell you otherwise. It wasn’t your fault; it never was.
3.Re-identify yourself.
You may have lost what or who you once were. Collect your thoughts, build yourself up, and don’t let others dictate who you are.
4. Stop clinging to nostalgia.
Whatever it was, don’t stay because you believe it will change back to how it was before.
You’ve got to do something about it first before it can start going back to the way it was.
5. Get the help that you need.
Your best friend, your closest family or seek out a professional. It doesn’t matter who, as long as you have someone you can lean on and someone that can help. Get a different perspective of your relationship.
6. Do something that can make you happy.
Get the joy back in your life that you once lost. Stop looking back and focus on the things that make you who you were before that toxicity seeped in.
7. Stand by your decision.
There’s no turning back when you already decided to get away from that relationship. Going back means you have lost, and you’ll forever be a victim of your toxic relationship.
Toxic relationships may be hard to leave, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be stuck in it forever. Don’t worry; there are still things that you can do. According to this toxic relationship awareness article, by Karen Young, here are some of them:
HELP...I may be in a toxic relationship...
There may be times that you want to give up and just accept that it will never change, but it doesn’t mean that you should. There are an infinite number of things you can do to free yourself and a lot of people to help you shoulder it with you. Never lose hope. Keep looking forward and know you’ll soon be free from toxicity.
“Dr. Heidi puts together amazing programs…I would pay 3 times the fee to attend again. My life is forever changed, thank you Dr. Heidi” Past Client
— Marie S.
"My Life Is Forever Changed!"
"I can not express how much this podcast has changed my life. She has given me the strength to see for the first time in my life the truth and it has been awakening. This is a must for anyone dealing with a toxic relationship of any degree. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
☆☆☆☆☆" — Jenn H.
"It's been an awakening!"
"Dr Heidi’s words were a lifesaver, helping me to sort out my abusive relationship and recognize that it truly was toxic. I recommend this podcast to everyone I talk to who is questioning whether or not their relationship is healthy."
☆☆☆☆☆ Melissa C.
"Recommend to anyone questioning if a relationship is healthy"
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Hiring an attorney can be a difficult task, especially when you are separating from a toxic partner. Learn how to find the right attorney for you with The 10 Critical Questions To Ask When Hiring An Attorney For Your Divorce From A Toxic Partner
The 10 Critical Questions To Ask When Hiring An Attorney
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