I have been through each of these and felt the same as you...

It is like running on a treadmill.  You put in a lot of effort which makes you feel like you are going somewhere. Things ebb and flow, there are hot times & cool times. During the hot times you feel fear, danger, & chaos. When it cools off you feel less fear, less danger & less chaos.

But it is only an illusion.  

Soon the cool begins to heat up again and all of the sudden you are back in the burning path of criticism, name calling, blaming, punishment and tension.

Are you continually being criticized?

Your physical traits, your hair, your career choice, your friends, your strengths, and most definitely your weaknesses?  When all you really want is for them to accept you as you are?

Do you find yourself seeking their approval?

Do you quickly agree with their plans or opinions?  

Continually do and say things to prove yourself good enough, smart enough, happy enough? Always hoping they will think you are good enough, smart enough, happy enough.  Only to find approval never comes.

Do you find yourself doing and saying things that you may not want to, or do you agree with them to avoid making them angry or being in trouble?

Do you have an uneasy or anxious feeling when they are around?

When they come home from work, call, or send a text? Do you make excuses for them when they mistreat you? Do you worry that you are always in trouble or have disappointed them?

Do the things that are important to them come first? 

You get up in the morning thinking about their needs before yours. Do you run yourself ragged for them, cover for them, over-extend for them, leaving no time, energy, or attention for yourself? Do you feel the efforts that should be appreciated are instead expected?

Are you forced to take the blame?

For things they do, things they can’t find, anything that does not go right? Is it because it is indeed your fault or is it because it is easier to take the blame than prove to them that it is not?

Did reading those make you feel like I've been watching your life?-- well let me tell you...

I've lived that life!

I spent many years living on that very treadmill.  Perhaps you've seen me...

I did not understand it when I was in it either, but you can bet that I understand it now...
and I have been the person that I needed when I was going through it for many just like you over the years...
 I am here for you too