Afraid and alone is how I felt: afraid of the past, afraid of the present, afraid of the future. A circle I couldn’t escape from…self-doubt, self-critical thinking, a self-defeating pattern that I didn’t see. A year after leaving my former, I heard from friends and family, “Let go and move on.” But that was the problem. I didn’t know what I needed to let go of. He was gone but I was trapped, trapped by the self-defeating patterns I used to survive in the relationship but didn’t see. The first time I met with Dr. Heidi, she put it best: “You’re in a jail with no bars.” At the time, I could see what she was saying, but didn’t know how to leave that jail. It was a nightmare, one I couldn’t seem to escape and one I can say I would have never if it weren’t for her and her amazing staff.
What she taught me from that day forward is absolutely priceless. I began to see that there are so many toxic behaviors that are less obvious than a scar but have the same exact effects on their victims; mind-fuckery is how I think of it these days. Learning the characteristics of a toxic person wasn’t just about freeing myself from my past but giving me the tools to see toxic behaviors before they will ever affect me in the future. It opened the doors to who I am, to my happiness, and to self-love. I am changing and on a journey I get to share with her and so many loving, caring, amazing people.
Dr. Heidi has been an amazing coach, friend, and cheerleader throughout the whole process. She has willingly opened up about her past to help educate me on her story of triumph, making me think that climbing out of the deepest hole was actually possible. Her course materials allowed me to take a look inward again, instead of focusing on the toxic sink hole happening around me. By doing so, I was able to reset some healthy boundaries and stand up for what I deserve. Dr. Heidi has guided me back to my personal strength, given me the clarity and direction I’ve needed to regain my emotional and physical health!
I have seen multiple therapists and alternative healers to deal with the pain I endured from being surrounded by toxic people. None of them gave me what Dr. Heidi gave me. Dr. Heidi taught me methods to identify the red flags of toxic individuals, healthy defense mechanisms to counter their tactics, and steps to move forward in my own development to solidify and maintain a positive outlook. Because I now love and respect myself, I no longer attract toxic individuals. My firm boundaries and strong sense of what I truly deserve and desire now almost repel the toxic people!
When I met Dr. Heidi, I knew I needed help. I was tired of being tricked into romantic and professional relationships only to feel used and swindled. I felt like I was stuck in a deep hole with slippery walls, a vicious cycle with no end in sight. She courageously held the candle in front of me to guide me out of that hole, and now I’m thriving personally and professionally.
Dr. Heidi is a true educator and shining example of what it means to rise from the ashes. Her personal experience with toxic relationships allows her to really sit in your shoes and understand your situation. She teaches you all the red flags for your awareness, how to navigate their tactics, and the direction you need to confidently move on with your life!
I would absolutely recommend this program to others, and I already have!
It was a good friend of mine that first took me to one of Dr. Heidi’s workshops. It wasn’t until I was tucked in the back of the room sobbing that I first realized I was a victim. I needed help. It was then my journey began. I started attending workshops and seeing Dr. Heidi one-on-one. I was introduced to women at a weekend retreat who had stories similar to mine. These women are my family now.
It’s been a slow and steady process, but for the first time in my life I know my own self-worth. I know now that not everyone has the same heart. I can see the red flags in people that aren’t worthy of my time. I no longer let anyone other than myself control my emotions. Through my time with Dr. Heidi, I have found my confidence, my personality, my positivity. I have found myself.
I spent years believing he just needed someone who wouldn’t give up on him, and that could allow him to experience true love and loyalty, unlike the difficult past that he had overcome. Yet time and time again, the end result was cheating, lies, and manipulation. He would blame me for his reckless behavior or flip the script and accuse me of doing the very things he was doing himself. Then the disappointments would be followed up by apologies, promises to get help, and come to Jesus moments that he was really ready to change his life around. Within minutes, he would suck me right back in. The more chances and support I gave him, the worse the betrayals would get.
He didn’t hit me; he didn’t raise his voice or get aggressive. By the standard definition, he wasn’t abusive. He was held in high regard from those around him, so clearly the problem had to lie within me, right? I spent years of my life fighting for him and slowly losing myself a little more with each passing day. Where was I going wrong? Why did I keep accepting this behavior? What was wrong with me? Why was I not enough? If I could just figure out how to reach him, the hurtful actions would stop, he would change for me, right? I had no idea what I was dealing with.
Thankfully, Dr. Heidi and her team entered my life at just the right time. I didn’t know much about toxic relationships, how many people suffered from them, the different forms they could take on, or that resources were available to help you break free. Dr. Heidi helped educate me on the characteristics of a toxic person. She helped me gain the ability to recognize the tactics and games they use to keep you hooked and under their spell. And most importantly, she helped me understand that in order to remain in control, an abuser’s (physical, mental, or emotional) power lies in making you feel isolated and alone. The more they can get inside your head, the more power and control that they have over you. Through her one-on-one coaching and group workshops, I realized I wasn’t alone; I wasn’t crazy; I was enough just as I am.
The education she’s provided to me in this area has truly changed my life. Building my self-awareness helped me to start down the path of healing from my past and preventing this from carrying over into my future. I was aware of physical abuse; however, I never fully understood the severe impact that came from mental or emotional abuse until I started working with this amazing woman. My time working with Dr. Heidi has helped me to start finding my light again among all the darkness I was surrounded by.
Brené Brown so eloquently says: “Shame is the intensely painful feeling that we are unworthy of love and belonging. Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. However, shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment. Shame cannot survive being spoken and being met with empathy.”
So, I encourage you to fight for yourself. If any of the situations I described feel eerily familiar to you, don’t be ashamed, don’t be silent, you are not alone. No matter your past, you have the power to choose how it will be from this day forward. With the support of Dr. Heidi and her team, I promise you freedom from the pain is possible. Thank you, Dr. Heidi, from the bottom of my heart. Without you, I may have found myself in another life-threatening situation that possibly wouldn’t end up in my favor the next time around. Thank you for reminding me that this is my life, I am the author of my story, and that at any moment I have the power to write a new chapter.
Dr. Heidi is an amazing woman. She helps you create the structure, helps you implement the plan and encourages you throughout the whole process. It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of ‘I have to do this or that.” But by creating a plan you are able to see what you get to do and you are much more effective and energized to accomplish not only your job but your life!
Working with Dr. Heidi created the much needed unpacking of areas that were holding me back and stressing me out. She is genuinely authentic and kind and I would highly recommend her and her coaching to help you be the very best version of you!
Dr. Heidi talks to you like a normal human being. I always feel she has my best interest in mind. Do not hesitate in reaching out to her. Do it sooner rather than later.
Dr. Heidi Brocke is a 1997 graduate of Palmer College and is a licensed Doctor of Chiropractic.
Neither CoachingwithDr.Heidi.com nor Dr. Heidi Brocke is a licensed mental health professional. No information within this site claims to replace the guidance of a professional mental health provider. See terms here for more information.