toxic relationship awareness, healing and education

Coaching With Dr. Heidi 
It's Not Normal, It's Toxic

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There were many reasons that I stayed in an unhealthy relationship for so many years (see episode “8 Reasons We Stay). Listen now to the 8 reasons that I finally left the toxic relationship of my past. They may sound similar.

8 Reasons I Left

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Meet Rob who went from a poker pro to a divorce pro and how he navigated his toxic relationship and turned it into a following.

From Poker Pro to Divorce Pro

It's Not Normal, It's Toxic Podcast

I wanna know event with dr heidi

What would it be like to be out? What would it be like to be free? What would it be like to be able to go to work and be happy? What would it be like to go out with friends and not have to worry about being judged? What does it look like over there? Start visualizing it, and the pathway will show up—not like the yellow brick road, OK? Some of our paths have a lot of speed bumps, and some of our paths have a lot of potholes. Some of our paths are gravel and you don’t have shoes. But if you can see where you want to go, regardless of the gravel and the speed bumps and the potholes, you’re going to get there. Because you know that’s where you want to be; no matter what you have to go through, that’s where you want to be. And that makes a whole lot more sense than not knowing where you want to go and staying where you are.

How Do I Do This?

Toxic Relationships

Coaching With Dr. Heidi How Do I Deal With Toxic People Blog Post

Hey everybody, welcome back! A while back someone had written me about the fears of leaving a toxic relationship. In fact, I’ve had several people contact me. But I want to address one particular fear today, and that is the fear of being lonely. The definition of loneliness is feeling sad and unhappy about being […]

Defending yourself against a smear campaign is a complete waste of time. It will suck the emotional energy straight out of you. Smear campaigns are set up by the toxic people to get a reaction. Don’t give it to them. Those who love you know the truth, right? You’re not going to need to convince the people who already love you. Those who don’t? They don’t matter. You don’t need to convince them either. Giving energy to a smear campaign is giving your time and energy back to them. They have used up enough of your time and energy.

The SMMEEAARRR Campaign

Toxic Tactics

If you are in a situation that you are feeling like you are going to have to run away to get out, it is overwhelmingly scary. Just know that the fear usually comes from you moving from an environment that you are familiar in to unknown territory.

Even though your environment wasn’t healthy, at least you knew what to expect. In stepping out, you have no idea what’s going to happen out there.

The unknown is always scary, and the familiar is always easier to stay in. So be prepared to be scared! Because it is scary!

What to Expect

Toxic Relationships

Toxic Relationship Blog Post What to Expect when you leave a toxic relationship Man on bench image

Toxic personalities tend to feel like everything is about them. We’ve talked about it before; your toxic personality—right, wrong, or indifferent—tends to be insecure. Their controlling and attention traits are geared toward trying to make themselves feel more secure.

From your career to your friends, your hair color, which shoes you’re wearing…they make everything involve them, and we end up having very little say regarding our daily life decisions. A lot of times we have very little to say about our overall well-being. The more they control, the less we control. Because, Heaven forbid, we stand up to ourselves.

You are definitely going to come across the word “hoovering.”

It is derived from the Hoover vacuum, and it is a tactic that is used by toxic people, narcissistic people, and emotionally abusive people to suck you back into the relationship and into their control.

Once they get you back in, they continue to treat you like dirt.

A Little About HOOVERING

Toxic Tactics

Good afternoon! I have a topic today that I have truthfully been putting off. There’s been so many people messaging me about this particular topic, and right now I have quite a few clients that have asked questions about this topic. Even though I have kind of been avoiding it because it’s a touchy subject, […]

Kids?!?!

Children

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